Xiaoqiao requested we talk via WhatsApp message—yet another layer’s worth of distance between our bodies, the inescapable vessels our conversation was supposed to interrogate as these talks continue to mine the corporeal for meaning. Funnily, the absence of bodies in an interaction like this can serve to prove their importance in sharp relief: my main understanding of the musician, model, and artist was that she has the unique experience of working with her body equally as subject and tool, and both seem uncannily natural, like she was born specifically to inhabit this body. I wanted to know if there was any friction under the surface, any hang-ups in the process of physically being Xiaoqiao:

‍

Em Seely-Katz: Do you experience any physical pain from playing the harp?

Xiaoqiao: Yes, at the very beginning, mostly when your fingers are getting used to the pattern of a new instrument—I came from a background of playing piano and guitar, and in a certain way harp is like a piano on strings, but I still struggled with ‘stupid hand’ situations at the start, where I just couldn’t bear it. I had a phase where I sat there for 10 hours a day practicing almost non-stop… and then I got tenosynovitis! After that intense point, somehow, I learned to relax, I slowed down, and my hands just started following the harp.

Now the harp and I have built a much more harmonious pattern.

E: The harp has such an intense physical presence, I feel like being near it must be a unique physical experience—how do you feel in your body when you play?

X: It is definitely a sensual experience, but it’s been a journey for me to be more open and grounded when playing.

I enter a flow state when I play, most of my music comes from improvising.

It’s very tactile, firstly, how your fingers touch the strings and how the vibrations from the harp pass through your body, every nuance of tension and release, subtle changes in breathing.

Mostly, I’m just allowing my intuition to navigate the music with fluidity.

On the other hand, there’s definitely tons of repetition and practice you have to go through, I guess with every instrument—for me, it's about getting the ‘language’ of the harp. Then, you hold the freedom to deliver anything that’s flowing inside of you.

‍E: Your other medium is your body—you model, create makeup looks, and more... What do you feel is the main difference between the art that focuses on your body and your other arts, like harp playing, that use your body as a tool instead of as a subject?

X: When I’m modeling, somehow my body itself becomes the canvas, waiting to be painted by someone else.

Of course your expressions and interpretation showcase your identity, personal narrative, and character, but mostly you are realizing someone else’s vision—I do enjoy working with people on that synergetic spectrum of aesthetic I relate to. When it comes to music, for example singing, my body naturally becomes this tunnel or vessel, almost like a tool to connect to the higher spirit, like Hilma af Klint painting her temple series.

It's spiritual in that case, the ‘thing’ my body is channeling becomes the instrument itself—I can explore and shape it in a way that’s deeply personal and fluid.

E: Outside of your relationship with your art practice, are there any other specific ways you relate to your body based on your identity?

X: As a Chinese person, I’ve seen such a huge trend on mainland social media of cosmetic surgery this year, where it’s a popular act for influencers to share their cosmetic procedures that will get them more followings and engagement. It feels like getting cosmetic surgery became an essential ‘need’ for young girls in that environment, and it has made me feel sad to witness.

E: This is a kind of weird question, and you’re obviously much more than how you look, but a lot of the content you put out on social media features your face and body—how is the experience of being very physically beautiful for you? Do you notice it affecting your life in any way, socially, artistically, or otherwise?

X: Thank you, haha. Personally, I find it's more of an identity and aesthetic presentation thing when it comes to my appearance. Physically, I actually hated ‘looking pretty’ when I was 16,

I was deeply introverted and always thought of myself becoming a philosopher or poet haha,

and felt no one understood that side of me at that time—everyone thought the stuff I liked was strange, I felt lonely but still had to deal with this pressure of being ‘noticed’ and ‘looked at.’

However, I got to start modeling later on, and since then I’ve basically been able to support myself in London, make music, and meet many wonderful friends, which I'm grateful for. I did get lots of anonymous hate messages through DM when I started to perform live though, they thought I was just an ‘influencer’ and didn't know anything, ha, but it doesn't bother me anymore—like, I was 16! A lot of great artists that I look up to are able to build a whole universe of their own. I think that’s somewhere I wanna get to, and the artist themself, of course, is the medium and center of the stage, leading their audience into that dimension.